Strange Magic
by Naasad
Summary: Soul-Mate AU / Magic AU / Familiars AU / Asexual Caboosington / Grimmons / Past Mainewash / Carwash siblings / Team Dad Sarge / Basically, I took all my favorite things and mashed them together / Warning: Canon-typical swearing
1. Give Me Time

_**A/N: This is an AU borne of crazy. Literally I had no idea what I was going to do, but I wanted to include Caboose, a capybara, magic, Grimmons, and asexual Caboosington. Enjoy.**_

~O~

Wash played with the river, bending the current into shapes. It was by no means taboo to use your magic in front of others, but Project Freelancer strongly discouraged it. Just as they discouraged using real names. He sighed and clenched his fist, sending the waterway back to its natural course. The Project had stolen much.

Kek rubbed against his leg, purring softly.

"Yes, I am thinking too hard again." Wash smiled and laid a hand on its head. "But you understand." He stroked behind its ear. "You miss him, too."

Kek laid its chin on his knee, looking up carefully.

"Agent Washingtub! Agent Washingtub!"

Wash hastily removed his hand. Familiars were sacred – not to be acknowledged save by soulmates. And his was long gone.

"Oh, there you are, Agent Washingtub!" Caboose called, appearing on the other side of the bank, helmet clipped to his belt. "I was starting to worry for you. You are supposed to be training Tucker."

Wash chuckled and rose. "Sorry, Caboose, I got lost in my head."

The blue soldier nodded. "Oh, I understand. I do that all the time. Sometimes the outside my head is too busy." He looked down at Wash's leg then and squealed. "Oh! Where did you find a kitty-cat!"

Wash looked down at Kek, whose fur was just on end as his companion's eyes were wide. "You can see him?" On impulse, he looked around for Caboose's familiar, though he had never seen it before, that was hardly cause for concern. Kek himself enjoyed staying out of physical sight as well, nevermind the fact only select few could recognize him as more than a shadow.

"Oh, you are looking for Cachorro!" Caboose suddenly realized. "I know all about these things." He gave a piercing whistle, and a giant lumbering rodent made itself visible. "He is a capybara. He comes from Brazil. He is made in the shape of friendship."

Kek froze, then bolted, clambering onto Cachorro's back.

Wash shook his head, taking a step back. "This can't be happening," he muttered, realizing too late he'd spoken out loud.

Caboose's face crumbled. "You do not like him?" he asked. "My sisters said-."

"It's not that, Caboose."

"Mike."

"Mike," Wash corrected himself. He sighed and removed his helmet, scrubbing his face. "It's not that. I – I already have – had a soulmate. He died. And nobody – nobody has two."

Caboose squinted, tilting his head as if he could see straight through Wash. "Some people do. Some people do at the same time. Some people do at different times." He bit his lip, eyes wet. "Do you not like me?"

Wash sighed. "You're a good friend, Caboose."

"Mike," Caboose repeated sadly.

The two stood there, opposite sides of the river.

"Hey, guys!" Tucker appeared over the lip of the bank. "What's taking so long? Caboose, I said find him, not stand around talking with him all day."

Caboose pulled on his helmet, masking his crushed expression, and strode back to the base without a word.

"Geez, what crawled under your skin?" Tucker called after him. He turned to Wash. "Did you do something to him?"

Wash bit his lip and ran his hands nervously over his helmet, glancing out of the corner of his eye at Cachorro and Kek. "He's my soulmate, Tucker," he said, "my fucking soulmate."

Tucker glanced at Caboose. "Good luck with that. And Wash don't you dare fuck this up. Go talk to him before I make you."

Wash glared at the soldier. "It's not that simple." And with that, he turned and walked away.

"You're going the wrong way! That's Red Base!"

Wash continued on regardless. Behind him, he felt the river boil with Tucker's frustration, but he ignored it. He needed advice.

Sarge greeted him at the base's perimeter, tinkering with a device or two. He glanced up and sighed, using a burst of tech magic to finish it. "I know that look. Soulmate problems. Go talk to Grif and Simmons."

"No sage advice?" Wash asked.

Sarge laughed bitterly. "No experience. At this point, I'm not even sure I have one."

Wash made a sympathetic noise. "My first one is dead. Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?"

Sarge smirked. "I prefer simpler sayings. Like the grass on the other side is always greener." He jerked his head to the base entrance. "They're inside. I suppose under the circumstances, I can let a dirty blue in the base just this once."

Wash nodded. "Thank you."

It wasn't hard to find Grif and Simmons. The arguing carried throughout the metal walls very well. He leaned against the wall of the storage closet, waiting for them to notice him.

Simmons was first and promptly elbowed Grif in the ribs. "Tucker or Sarge? Or – don't tell me it's Caboose?"

"Do I have it written on my face or something?"

"Or something," Grif said. "Caboose, then. I can understand why you want advice. Sorry, but yes, it's permanent. I checked."

Wash growled protectively, and Grif stumbled backward.

"Not cool, man!" Simmons cried, pulling his mate to his feet. "It was a joke, no need to fucking channel your familiar."

Wash blinked. "I what?"

Grif and Simmons shared a look. "Talk."

Wash groaned. "I don't know where to start."

"From the beginning always helps," Simmons said.

Wash nodded. "Project Freelancer. My soulmate was Agent Maine. He became the Meta, and you know how that turned out."

"And now Caboose is your soulmate," Grif said. "What does he want?"

"I don't know." Wash dragged a hand down his face. "I don't know, but he thinks I don't like him – which isn't true – I'm just… I can't right now. It's been – It's too soon."

"Honestly, will it ever not be?" Grif asked. "He was your fucking soulmate, and now he's gone."

"You don't have to remind me." Wash stared at his hands.

Simmons leaned forward. "It's Caboose. Just tell him."

Wash bit his lip.

"Why not?" Grif asked. "You know he'll get it."

"I can't think about it." Wash shook his head and stood, pacing. "I can't think about it. We're still wanted by the UNSC. There's no time."

Grif groaned. "You know what, fuck this, it's not going to work. Wash, figure something out and figure it out fast. Caboose may seem stupid but he still has feelings. And he really doesn't have healthy ways of coping with those feelings. So go talk to him before he hurts himself."

Wash's eyes went wide and he made a hurried exit.

Simmons glanced up at his mate, annoyed. "Did you have to bring that up?"

"It worked, didn't it?"

Wash ran all the way across the valley, finally coming to a stop at Caboose's door. He rested with his hands on his knees a moment, catching his breath, then knocked. "… Mike?"

"Yes?" Caboose said from behind him.

Wash jumped around, holding a knife halfway between them, ready to strike. "Jeez. Sorry, Caboose – I mean Mike – you startled me."

Caboose grinned. "You called me by my name, Agent!"

Wash winced. "Yeah. Um… I guess, my name is David?"

Caboose took Wash's hand, smiling like a loon. "David. That is a pretty name for my soulmate."

Wash nodded.

"I thought it was gonna be George!" Tucker called from down the hall.

"My last name isn't Washington! That's just a codename!"

Caboose tilted his head, wearing that squint again. "Is your last name Church?"

"He is not Church!" Tucker groaned.

"No," Wash agreed. "I'm not Church. Church was an artificially intelligent computer program based off the memories and neuropathways of the Director of Project Freelancer. Who was my dad."

Tucker was stunned silent and made his way over to the two of them. "That's fucked up."

"So you are Church's brother," Caboose decided, nodding. "Yeah, I knew he wasn't the one for me, but I thought he was close, so I made him my best friend. If he wasn't my best friend, I never would've met you!" He beamed.

Wash struggled for words.

"Dude." Tucker glanced between them. "I'm out. Now talk about your feelings and shit."

Wash sighed and turned to Caboose. "We do need to talk."

Caboose nodded and opened his door. "My big sisters always said I would have to have this talk with my soulmate. But they said you might not understand so I am a little scared."

Wash blinked. "Understand what?"

Caboose scuffed the toe of his boot on the floor. "ThatIdonotlikesexthings," he mumbled.

"Oh," Wash said. "I don't either. That's not an issue."

"Oh," Caboose said. "What is an issue?"

Wash sighed and bit his lip. "My last soulmate just died. I-."

"Are you scared?" Caboose interrupted.

Wash shrugged. "No. Yes. A little."

"That is okay," Caboose said. "You are scared and sad and I am new. It will take time."

Wash nodded. "I… do like you, Mike."

Caboose grinned shyly. "I like you, too, David. Can we still do friend things, even if we don't do soulmate things?"

Wash laughed. "I think I can manage that."

"Great!" Caboose grabbed his hand and started dragging him to the kitchen. "I want to make cookies with my new bestest friend!"


	2. Just a Little More Time

Wash forgot that AI couldn't see things the way the rest of the world did. They couldn't see anyone's familiars. Couldn't see soulmates. It was sad, really. And it caused a few problems. Like Epsilon thinking he had simply been replaced.

"This is my new bestest friend," Caboose told him. "I call him Church sometimes."

"What the fuck," Epsilon demanded later. "You stole my armor, my name, and my Caboose."

"He's not yours," Wash hissed. There he was, channeling Kek to defend Caboose again. It was a pity Epsilon couldn't see it. "You weren't using the armor, and in case you don't remember, it's my name, too."

"Fuck off," Epsilon spat. "You gave up that name when you decided to be daddy's little freelancer."

"My sperm donor hated me." Wash swatted at the AI, knowing full well it would do nothing. "He hated you, too, just as much as he hated any other part of himself."

Epsilon snorted and stormed away, probably to hover near Tucker.

"Is Church mad?" Caboose asked, voice so soft.

Wash turned around and shook his head. "Not at you. He likes you a lot, maybe too much."

"Aww," Caboose crooned. "You're jealous for me. It's okay, David. Church cannot take us away from each other.

Wash smiled and pulled Caboose into a one-armed hug. "That's right he can't. No one can." Caboose looked up at him with such admiration, it seated a rock of guilt deep in his gut. "Sorry," he murmured, slipping away.

Caboose caught him by the hand and followed. "It is okay. I understand you still need time."

Wash paused. "Yes, time. Hey, can you do me a favor and go find the Reds? I… need to talk with Carolina."

"Okay!" Caboose beamed and ran off, before pausing to look back. "But be careful. She is scary."

Wash nodded and then walked over to the other Freelancer, mentally composing what he was going to say.

"Spit it out," Carolina finally snapped.

Wash raised an eyebrow. "Hello to you, too, sis."

The term of endearment gave Carolina pause. "What's wrong?"

Wash bit his lip, still pulling together his thoughts. "Soulmate problems."

"The Meta's gone," Carolina said. "And Maine died long before that."

Wash flinched at the reminder. "I know. I know, I found another one."

Carolina stiffened and turned. "Who?"

Wash nodded at Caboose. "I assume you heard him call me David."

Carolina sighed and removed her helmet, plonking down on the ground. "Is this going to be a long talk?"

"Maybe."

"Let's get started, then. What's going on?"

David sighed and sat next to her. "I found out just a few weeks after the Meta's death. I wasn't ready then. I asked him for time, and he keeps on giving it."

Carolina looked over expectantly.

"I'm mostly moved on from that… incident."

Carolina laughed. "But you're still not ready."

Wash shook his head.

"David, you've overthought everything from the moment you were born." Carolina paused to gather her thoughts. "But soulmates aren't a thinking thing."

"I guess?"

Carolina nudged him with her elbow, and he instantly felt the reassuring presence of her touch magic. "Stop thinking about him. It's a plunge you have to take."

David nodded, then jerked upright. "I don't know his magic."

That sent Carolina into a fit of hysterics. "Go," she finally managed to gasp in her laughter.

Wash jumped to his feet and walked briskly down to the camp, to see Caboose and Sarge talking together. "Great," he muttered. "That's going to have to wait."

"Hey."

Wash turned around to see Epsilon floating, looking rather sheepish. "What do you want?"

Epsilon chuckled nervously. "Uh, Tucker told me?"

Wash sighed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." Epsilon scratched the back of his head. "I just…. Well, you understand waking up and finding everything's changed."

At that, Wash tensed. "Go away," he growled.

"Dude!" Epsilon protested, loud enough for the camp to hear.

"Just go away," Wash said, subconsciously covering his implants with his hand.

"I'm not-."

"Please go away, Church," Caboose said, coming up behind Wash and putting a comforting hand on his lower back. "You are making Agent Washingtub very anxious."

Wash looked down to see Kek and Cachorro positioning themselves between him and the AI. Not that it would do much good, but he made a grateful noise in the back of his throat nonetheless.

Caboose held him tighter. "Now," he ordered, voice suddenly deeper than the earth itself.

Wash shivered, recognizing a mage's voice of Command. That would explain why he spent so much time with Sarge.

Church flickered, fighting it, and then vanished completely.

Caboose shifted from foot to foot. "I do not like being so scary," he confided to Wash. "But Church was being mean."

Wash sagged against his soulmate. "It's okay, Caboose. Thank you."

Caboose sat them both down, Wash practically in his lap. "Did Church hurt you?"

"He-." Wash's hand went back to his implants. "Yes. A long time ago."

Caboose sighed and gave him a squeeze. "I will make sure he doesn't do it again."

Wash put a hand over Caboose's, grateful for the contact. "Thank you, Mike." He fell silent for a moment, recovering from his shock, then looked up, grinning. "So you're a tech mage, huh?"

Caboose beamed. "Yes! I am! That is why computers like me."

Wash chuckled. "I can do water."

"That's nice." Caboose perched his chin on top of Wash's head. "This is nice, too," he said, almost dreamily. Wash felt him tense. "Was that bad?"

Wash shook his head. "No, Caboose. It wasn't bad. I – I don't think I need that much more time," he said. "Just a little longer."

"Can we cuddle like this still?" Caboose murmured.

Wash willed himself to relax. "Yeah. This is nice."

Caboose smiled and Kek and Cachorro joined their little pile, providing warmth and protection.

Down in the camp, Grif nudged Simmons. "Look. They finally got their act together, I think."

The next morning, Caboose woke with an armful of Wash clutched tight against his chest. He looked up to see Kek enter their tent and held a finger to his lips, smoothing stray hairs away from Wash's face.

"Everybody up!" Carolina bellowed.

Caboose sighed in disappointment and Wash jumped to wakefulness. The freelancer looked over at his soulmate, and Caboose mentally prepared himself for an awkward, stammered line about how it wasn't the time and he didn't really mean it.

Instead, he got a smile.

He couldn't resist, he leaned down and kissed the largest cluster of freckles, right over Wash's nose. He giggled as Wash's face wrinkled, then paused, waiting for his reaction.

Wash shook his head and rolled over, burying his face in Caboose's chest. "Ten more minutes!"

"Grif!" Sarge called. "You're a soldier, aren't you? Get your ass outa bed and get ready to move out! Pronto!"

"It wasn't me!"


	3. We Have Time

The Director was dead. His father was dead.

David wrenched his helmet off his head, stumbling onto the beach. In an instant, his last meal was on the sand, and the next, Caboose was guiding him upwind of the stench and rubbing soothing circles on his lower back.

"There, there, it's alright."

David dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, letting out a wretched sob.

"It's okay," Caboose murmured. "He cannot hurt you anymore."

"Mikey," David wept, clutching his soulmate's breastplate.

"Yes. I'm here. You're safe."

"What's going on?" Carolina asked, Epsilon hovering at her shoulder.

"Go away!" Caboose Commanded.

Epsilon blinked out of existence immediately, and Carolina left with a huff.

"He's gone," David murmured. "Real or not real?"

"Real." Caboose drew him closer. "This is really really bad if you are playing that game."

"He hurt me," David sobbed. "He was my father and he hurt me. He took away my name."

"David," Caboose said. "David. David, David, David."

David wept.

A few hours later, the two walked back to the others, who had set up camp for the night. Sarge wordlessly handed David a canteen of warm soup. "You'll be alright, Agent Washington," he said gruffly.

David swallowed back the bile that rose in the back of his throat.

"Call him David tonight," Caboose said. "He wants you to use his real name."

Sarge nodded. "David. You'll be alright."

"Lieutenant Church," Carolina called, catching David's attention. She spread her arms wide, and soon they were filled with her baby brother. "He's gone," she whispered.

"What is this?" Simmons asked.

"Oh," Caboose said. "They are brother and sister and the evil man was their daddy."

David chuckled at that but remained with Carolina for the time being.

"Huh," Sarge said. "I suddenly wish I had a life-size cardboard cutout to use as target practice."

David scrubbed at his face and sat down next to Caboose, entwining their fingers together. "Thanks, Sarge, but I'd rather you didn't. I don't want to see his face again."

"It is the worst face ever," Caboose agreed. "Of all time."

Carolina threw back her head and laughed, startling the sim troopers. "Oh my god, Day, how long have you been saying that for?"

"Since before mom died," David said.

Epsilon appeared across the camp, checking David's reaction before moving forward. "Did you know Tex was an AI created off his memory of her?"

David looked up at that. "No. Damn," he wiped his face on his sleeve. "I missed a chance." He glanced at Carolina. "Did you know?"

Carolina hesitated, then nodded. "When I found him, he was playing that stupid video of her on repeat. Just like right after."

David took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around himself. "We were never enough," he said, rocking back and forth.

Caboose draped himself over his back. "I think you were too much for him. And that is very sad. But you are just right for us." He beamed at Carolina. "You, too. Even though you are scary and mean sometimes."

Carolina smiled gratefully.

David grabbed Caboose's wrist and started tracing circles with his thumb. "I need a nap," he murmured, too low for anyone else to hear.

Caboose nodded and pulled him to a nearby tent. He pulled back the sleeping bag and yanked his shirt off his head. "You should take yours off, too. It is very hot."

David swallowed. "I have-."

Caboose shook his head and brought his hand behind David's shoulder, palm laying flat against one of the worst of his scars. He ran both his hands over his torso and arms, above his shirt, pausing at each of his scars. Finally, he brought them to rest at the small of his back, tugging him minutely closer. "I like your skin. It is like a map. Which is good, because you are like treasure but better."

David rested his forehead in the middle of Caboose's chest, then nodded, slowly pulling his shirt off.

Caboose smiled and led him into the bedroll, spooning him from behind. "Tomorrow will be better," he murmured into the crook of his neck. "You will see."

David sighed and let himself relax at the skin-on-skin contact. "Can you-?"

Caboose blinked in confusion, then nodded, rolling David onto his back and resting his head on his chest. "Better?"

David ran his hand through Caboose's curly hair, closing his eyes. "Much better."

Caboose was silent for a moment, stroking his thumb over David's ribs. "I love you," he finally said. "It is okay if you can't say it back. I don't want you to say it unless you mean it. But I mean it, so I wanted to say it to you."

David's words got stuck in his throat. He simply let his hand fall on Caboose's shoulder and squeezed it as reassuringly as he could.

The next morning, he woke up alone save for Kek. The cat perched on its companion's chest, licking its paw.

David sighed and ruffled its ear. "Where did Caboose go?"

Kek hopped down and waited at the tent entrance while David put on a shirt, then it led him to a central cooking fire, where Cachorro waited. David sat down between the two familiars, subtly stroking their sides.

Nearly an hour later, he looked up to see Caboose returning with Tucker and felt a pang of jealousy. The feeling was quickly dismissed when his soulmate came flying towards him. "David!" A freezing, soaking wet Caboose latched onto him.

"Mikey!" David yelped, drawing the water out of his clothes and hair. "What did you do?"

Caboose laughed. "I jumped in the ocean. Grif said if I swam fast enough, I could get back to base and make you your favorite pancakes to cheer you up and then bring them back here and you could eat them and you would be less sad."

David sighed but smiled fondly. "Thanks for the thought, but I'd rather have you than pancakes."

"Get a room!" Tucker crowed.

David very maturely flipped him off and stuck out his tongue.

Tucker rolled his eyes. "You're just lucky I was on watch and bored enough to go after him. Now if you'll excuse me, while Caboose gives you a lapdance, I'm going to go wake up Sarge and see about breakfast."

Caboose frowned. "Isn't a lapdance a sex thing?"

David rested his head on Mike's chest. "Yes, which is why we're not doing that and we're cuddling."

Caboose grinned and nuzzled his hair. "Cuddling is nice."

David made a sound of agreement.

"Guys! Guys!" Simmons shouted, running from his communications rig. "The UNSC is sending a ship for us! They want to honor us for bringing down Freelancer!"


	4. I Took Too Much Time

The Federal Army base shook with the force of yet another avalanche. Wash sat on the ground, eyes screwed shut, digging his fingers into his temples.

"Get yourself under control," Locus snarled, grabbing him roughly by the shoulder.

Wash's eyes snapped shut as he recognized touch magic, and he recoiled from the toxic feeling – so different than Carolina's – setting off another avalanche in the process.

There's was the familiar click of Sarge's shotgun, and suddenly Locus was moving away. "What's going on, son?" the older man asked, placing himself between the Freelancer and the mercenary.

Wash took a deep breath, trying not to appear panicked. Too late for that, his brain helpfully supplied. "My soulmate's familiar was with me when we were brought here. It just disappeared and my subsequent… panic sent my water magic out of control." There, that was it, safety in facts.

Locus growled. "You are endangering everyone here. If you cannot get yourself under control, I will use whatever means necessary to keep them safe."

"Don't even think about it," Sarge snapped. "Donut, Lopez, keep your guns on him." He moved slowly to Wash's side and let some of his own magic flow through the Freelancer, similar enough to Caboose's.

Wash steadily began to breathe easier, and finally felt his magic die down to manageable levels. He looked up to see Cachorro eyeing Locus with the utmost disgust and breathed a sigh of relief as everything went back to normal. "It's back."

Sarge nodded. "Up you go, then," he said, hoisting him to his feet, "and now let's go get you some food, fluids, and rest. In that order, understand, soldier?"

Wash nodded and let the Reds escort him to his quarters. "I'm sorry," he told Sarge.

The red leader shook his head. "Don't apologize. Donut, go get the best medic they have."

Donut nodded and fled in the direction of the infirmary.

"It was beyond your control," Sarge said. "I'm just glad all our friends are safe."

"Even Grif?" Wash teased.

Sarge heaved a sigh. "Even Grif."

Donut came back then, dragging a female soldier. "This is Doctor Grey! You remember her, right?"

"Hey, there!" the Doctor called cheerily. "I was wondering what was causing all the avalanches. Sarge got it right, though! Water, food, and lots and lots of rest for you, mister! Is there anything else I can do? Maybe some updates to your implants will help you with better control."

"No!" David's hands clasped protectively over the back of his neck before he even registered he was moving. "I mean. No, thank you, I don't like my implants being touched."

"Gotcha!" Grey said. "Well, I'll be off. Plenty of prosthetics for the rest of this army!"

Sarge stared after her as she pranced away. "Did anyone else…," he cleared his throat, "Did anyone else see that big black bird on her shoulder?"

The room fell silent, and then Donut was cheering. "Go get her, Sarge! Come on, you've waited forever! Don't let her go now!"

Wash sighed as the Red Team left him, missing his soulmate with all he had.

Caboose swung his legs over the edge of the radioactive lake, happily munching on what food the kitchens had provided.

"Hey," Simmons called, sitting next to him. "Are you worried about Wash?"

Caboose grinned and shook his head, remembering just in time to swallow before speaking. "Nope!"

Simmons frowned. "Why not?"

"Wash will come back. His family is here, so he is alive, and I love him, so he will come back."

"His familiar?" Simmons asked. "His familiar is here with you?"

Caboose nodded. "And mine is with him. I told them to do that in case bad guys ever took us away, because Wash worries a lot about me. He worries a lot about everything."

"Oh," Simmons said. "Grif and I should've thought of that."

Caboose finished his food and patted Simmons on the shoulder. "It is okay. Sometimes other people think of things first, but you are still smart."

Simmons fairly blushed. "Um… thanks."

Caboose nodded and swung his legs some more before getting up and heading back to the galley to return his mess kit. "I do not want Wash to worry," he said as Simmons fell into step beside him. "But he will anyway, so I will just try to make him worry less."

"Hey, guys!" Grif shouted. "Tucker's back! He brought intel and Kimball wants to talk to us!"

Caboose beamed. "Maybe we know where to find Wash now."

Simmons smiled. "Maybe."

The plan was simple. Sneak into the base, liberate friends, sneak back out. Wash set out his weapons and started furiously cleaning. He glanced at Cachorro. "I wish you could tell Caboose that I'm coming for him." He could've sworn the familiar rolled its eyes.

That night, as he was tossing and turning, it clambered into bed on top of him, much like Caboose had. Wash gave in and embraced the capybara with a strangled sob. "I have to get to him in time."

Cachorro nuzzled his head and made itself comfortable.

In the morning, he woke up to find it sitting on the floor. It gave him a strange look and walked out the door.

The rest of the day passed much like the last few. He greeted Sarge at breakfast, ran drills with the Federal Army until lunch, ate, and then ran into his soulmate and friends who thought they had to come and rescue him.

There wasn't much time for a reunion. Felix and Locus had planned everything too well.

After the fact, though, once they were camped at the abandoned research facility, David pulled Mikey aside and gave him a crushing hug. "I was so worried."

"I know," Caboose said, holding him. "That is why I told Cachorro to go with you."

"He left once," David confessed. "I lost control. I nearly killed everyone."

Mike took a deep breath and tightened his embrace. "But you didn't. And now you are back and everything will be awesome again. And we will defeat the pirates, and then we will have victory. And victory parties are always the best parties."

David laughed, burying his face in Mikey's armor. "I missed you."

Caboose nodded and held him as close as possible. "Me, too."

Wash took a step back, removing his helmet, and looked Caboose over. "I love you," he finally said.

Caboose ripped off his helmet. "Do you mean it?" he asked, excitedly.

Wash nodded. "Yes, I-."

Caboose swept him up and kissed him before he could finish. "I love you, too, Agent David Church Washingtub."

Wash laughed, and Caboose kissed the wrinkles at his eyes. "That tickles," he giggled – oh lord, he honest to God giggled.

Caboose laughed, too, though, and started trying to kiss every freckle.

"Are you guys done yet?" Grif called.

Wash and Caboose quickly stepped apart. "Tucker did it," Caboose mumbled.

Grif raised an eyebrow. "Carolina wants to talk to all of us. Now did you two already do the 'yay we're alive and reunited and our love will last forever' sex or do I need to tell the big, badass, scary Freelancer lady that her baby brother's going to need a few more minutes?"

Wash blushed. "We're good."

"Great, awesome," Grif said. "Then get your asses out here, we have a war to win."

~O~

 _ **A/N: And that, my friends, is what happens when you decide to not only write crazy, but to write 5k words of it in 5 hours or less. My hand hurts now. Especially my right middle finger. You want to know how many L's are in the actual story? 834. Yes, I counted.**_

 _ **I'm going to go find a splint or bandage or something now. While I do that, please let me know what you thought! No flames, but constructive criticism is always welcome.**_

 _ **Namari**_ _ **ë**_ _ **!**_

 _ **(Please also give special thanks to Lucy for the doggie kisses that kept me going. Best fucking Husky ever. Of all time.)**_


End file.
